So it is 2 in the morning and I have to wake up in a few hours, no biggie! I was thinking how hard it is for me to open up or it was. Well still is in some sense. I have always been a reserved person. I think that goes a few years. Well have only told one person about this. I had this friend in high school and we were good friends. Mind you most of my high school friends we werent really close. So yeah this guy, we were good friends. Other people thought he was a jerk, well he was a jerk to most of the girls. But I think the reason he was very friendly with me was because I helped with him with his homework alot and sometimes did some of his. Homework back then was nothing. But the thing is I had a crush on him. So then from grade 10, I think it was then, I started taking some distance from him. That is because I knew I would end up blurting something out and would end being hurt somehow. He thought I was mad at him because I wasnt talking to him as much and was treating him like the other boys. But the fact is me taking a distance from our friendship hurt me in other ways. I was always wondering what would happen if I told him how I felt. That's typical me: always analysing situations and the different outcomes. To this day, I still havent told him. He remains my very first crush and holds a special place. But back again to the point of this story, I just started letting people in to get to know me in grade 12 and it was only 2 people. I guess I am always afraid of getting hurt if i let people too close. But now it is getting better!
The other thing I wanted to say, is I am still discovering myself. And I am sure since we are always every changing, you are learning about yourself every single day.
By the way, got a new hair cut and excited for this weekend and might drop a class.
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4 comments:
They were mostly jerks. I'm not exactly clear on who it is you're referring to but it doesn't matter. It sucks that you had to go through that, dear. <3 I didn't know.
Yay hair cuts! =D
(My sister's in town this weekend. That means I have to see you know who. Auugh.)
I didn't know you back in high school but after reading this I do know that you have grown so much since then. And like you said you are going to continue to grow, and continue to discover yourself. I love that you opening up, the world needs a little more Mycke. :)
All I have to say is N.B :)
Oh, well when you but it that way, it would narrow it down to two. XD
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